Anonymous: Do you plan on updating tonight? I can't wait to see what happens next!

Today or tomorrow. Sorry things came up. I’m glad you’re excited and I hope you enjoy the chapter xxxx

Anonymous: When are you updating xxx

Either tonight (Wednesday) or tomorrow. Things came up I’m sorry xxxx

Anonymous: I saw :) I'm just excited to see what happens next!

Thank you so so much:) xx

Anonymous: Next update? :)

Monday or Tuesday depending on family stuff. I updated on Thursday btw xx

Always Alone - Chapter sixty four

Chapter sixty four. 


“Morning beautiful” Louis murmurs as I roll over to face him.

His hands pull my body even closer and hold me in a way that makes me feel safe.

“Morning” I reply softly before leaning over to kiss his lips gently.

Morning kisses are often the nicest, the softest, the ones filled with meaning and comfort. The same can be said for early morning sex, that’s always much more relaxed and meaningful. It’s less about lust and passion when the suns rising.

I find myself on top of his my hands running through Louis hair as our kisses continue, remaining in a sense of innocence.

My phone rings abruptly breaking us apart.

“I better get this, its Gemma” I mumble after noticing the caller ID.

“It might be about Ivy or Harry or something important” I ramble as I climb out of bed and answer the phone walking over to Louis bedroom window.

“Hey Gemma” I answer in a positive tone although my mind is filled with worry.

“Hiya Alisa, is everything ok? Did you arrive safely?” She says quickly, thankfully her tone sounds positive too.

“Yeah I’m fine, Louis picked me up from the airport and the entire journey way fine” I reply smiling fondly at the memory of arriving back into Louis’ arms.

“That’s great! Is everything good with you two then?” She said with humour in her tone, I can pretty much tell she’s wiggling her eyebrows right now.

I feel I know her much better than I probably actually do because of how well I know Harry. Gemma and Harry share a lot of characteristics.

“Yeah things are really good, better than that even” I grin to myself, memories of last night flowing through my mind.

“Ooh did something cheeky happen?” Gemma giggles.

“Sssh” I laugh back.

“Oh don’t worry you can spill all the details another time. I will get them out of you though” She says with a playful but serious tone in her voice.

“So anyways I called to check that you were going to stick to our plan?” Gemma asks.

“Oh becoming a new person? Yeah sure” I nod.

“Great I think a haircut is in order. Then maybe clothes shopping” Gemma suggests or should I say demands.

“Yeah that sounds like a good idea Gem”

“Great get started then. I wanna see a new you! Send me a pic later” She says cheerfully.

“Ok ok, I promise” I laugh.

“Great. See you later Alisa, love you sweetie” Gemma says.

“Love you too Gem, thank you so so much” I say before the line goes dead.

“So is everything alright? That sounded like quite an upbeat chat” Louis smiles as he climbs out of bed towards me.

Wearing no clothes might I add, not that I am either.

“Yeah everything was fine, Gemma was just checking up on me” I smile as he opens his arms for me.

“That’s great” Louis says kissing my shoulder tenderly.

“So um I’m gonna shower then I’ll be heading out. I’ve got some stuff to do. I might stop by work later too” I ramble as I pull myself out of Louis hold and walk towards the bathroom.

“Oh ok then” Louis mumbles as I walk away.

I step into the shower feeling the warm water cascading over every inch of my body.

I can’t help but feel dirty, not physically but mentally. Like I’ve cheated on Harry.

Which is insane I know because Harry and I are not together, but that kiss we shared. It had to mean something for us.

He said his heart is with someone else, meaning me. Surely that’s a way of saying he loves me? Or not maybe I’m making it out to be more than it actually is.

I wash my hair and step out of the shower, shutting off the water and shutting off my thoughts.

With a towel around my body I walk back into Louis’ bedroom and through into the living room to grab my bag.

“Want some breakfast? Or maybe a coffee?” Louis asks.

“No um I’m in a rush. I’ll grab a to-go coffee from the shop across the road” I ramble as I turn around going back into his bathroom to apply my makeup and dry my hair.

Once that’s done I get dressed into a baggy grey t-shirt and a pair of black legging adding a pair of flat black shoes to the outfit.

I’m not dressing nicely because I want to find myself a whole new look today.

Step one being my hair.

I grab my hand bag and shove my phone into it.

“I’ve got to go, I’ll call you later” I say kissing Louis on the cheek and then quickly on the lips before heading for the door, waiving as I shut it behind me.

I stop by a coffee shop on my way as I look up good hair salons in the area on my phone.

Eventually I find a salon with excellent review that’s just a few blocks away so I make my way through the busy streets dodging all the people that don’t seem to acknowledge my existence and sipping my coffee at the same time. Which I might add isn’t the easiest task.

One thing I do like about this city is how it’s never empty, always full of life.

“Hello Miss, good morning” the girl at the reception says smiling sweetly.

“Hi, I’m sure you probably have to book here so when’s the soonest I can get an appointment?” I ask.

“Well we actually have a cancelation this morning so in about five minutes” The girl laughs.

“Seriously” I grin.

“Yes, what exactly is it you want doing” She asks.

“Umm actually I’m not sure, something very different. I’ve just moved here permanently after being here a month or so on a work visit. So I’m wanting a new start, new me” I ramble.

“Ah the new me thing. Yeah there’s probably more to it than moving away. Perhaps the reason you moved away is the answer? Ah never mind me I’m being a little nosey I’m sorry” She says stopping herself with a slight smile.

“Yeah it’s all so new, I can’t really talk about it yet I don’t think” I shrug.

“Ah right that’s perfectly understandable. Here let me take your bag. Anita will be ready for you in a moment, she’s the head stylist here” The receptionist smiles as she hangs my bag on the rack and helps me into a robe.

Within a matter of minutes Anita has me sat in front of a large mirror as she runs her fingers through my hair with furrowed eyebrows.

“Alisa, when was the last time you got your hair done professionally?” Anita asks.

“Umm years ago, I just let it grow I guess” I say feeling a little embarrassed

“So I thought. The ends of your hair are dead and split” She says examining my hair more so.

“Well do you have any ideas of what will suit me?” I ask.

“Maybe we cut it short, just about shoulder length. A choppy cut with rough layers. Perhaps a soft fringe which can be parted when you fancy a change. As for the colour, maybe a rich brown. I feel like you need some warmth in your hair as your skin is quite pale isn’t it” Anita says.

“Do it” I nod.

“Are you sure, it’s a big change. Perhaps you’d like to book an appointment in a few days or so and think it over” Anita asks.

“No I’m sure” I nod firmly.

“Ok, here goes nothing” Anita says with a smile as she picks up the scissors.


“What do you think?” Anita asks three hours after she began cutting and sniping.

“Wow I look so different” I gasp.

Gone were the waist length slightly limp looking black locks. It was a change I liked. Loved even.

“Yeah, you look lovely though” Anita smiles sweetly.

“I love it. Thank you” I grin.

I pay, book an appointment for in a months’ time as Anita recommended regular appointments to keep the style perfect and keep my hair in good condition.

Next stop the beauty counter in a department store.

Elliot who works at the counter is very helpful in matching foundation, concealer and powder to my skin type and shade. He then picks out some eye shadow pallets, mascara, eyeliner, lipsticks, blushes and teaches me how to contour properly with bronzer. He then directs me to the skin care counter where his colleague Maria helps me find everything I need.

They recommend me visiting a beauty salon so I can get my eye brows tined to match my new hair, they give me an address of a salon they recommend.

Two hours later I’ve had my eyebrows shaped and tinted and my nails done at the salon Elliot and Maria had recommended and I’m now shopping for clothes.

Layla who works in the shop as a personal shopper asks my sizes and leaves me in a sitting room while she goes off to pick things for me.

She comes back around twenty minutes later with a rail full of clothes shoes and a basket full of accessories.

“I’ll leave you to try these on, now is there any other things you need like underwear, nightwear, swimwear, gym wear?” Layla asks with a polite smile.

“Actually I could do with some underwear and maybe some gym stuff. Yeah I think I’m going to join a gym” I say with a smile.

Layla nods before disappearing once again as I try on all the stuff she’s chosen me.

The colours are all fairly nuteral, blacks, whites, greys, nudes, creams, soft pastel shades here and there and a few patterned pieces. Layla had also chosen lots of work wear things too as I’d mentioned that I’d need more work clothes.

In the end I decide I want everything other than about five things that just didn’t feel very me.

I also get the underwear and gym clothes Layla picked and the bill comes to a rather staggering amount.

It doesn’t matter though because I’ve barely being spending any of my wages or living expenses from Alan. Plus I’m getting a pay rise now I’m acting manager.

As I leave the shop I successfully manage to get a taxi in less than two minutes and ask the driver to take me to work.

Whilst I’m in the car I look up the number for a gym and call them, I book a induction for tomorrow evening at six o’clock. The gym is twenty minutes in a taxi from work.

I enter the building and all eyes fall on me.

“Alisa?” one of the newly employed members of staff asks me.

“Yeah I look a little different I know” I laugh.

“Here let’s put your bags to aside and we can chat” He smiles.

“I’m Alex by the way” he introduces himself with a handshake and cute smile. Cute? Really Alisa?

We walk through the entire building discussing what’s being happening since I’ve been gone and chatting to employees.

“I need an assistant don’t I?” I say as we pass my old office and enter my new one which was Alan’s previously. All my things have already being moved into here, I guess to make me feel more relaxed when I returned.

“Yeah I guess you do” Alex nods leading against the desk.

“What’s your job here Alex? I don’t mean to sound rude but I’ve being away and don’t have a clue what everyone’s roles are yet” I smile.

“Oh um I’m just a secretary. And don’t worry it’s not rude at all” He says with a smile.

“Oh well how about you become my assistant. You’ve being so helpful and welcoming, I was only a secretary for Alan a few months ago and now I’m the manager” I laugh.

“Really?” he asks.

“Yes, I can have a contract sorted for you by tomorrow” I smile.

“Thank you so so much” He grins.

“You’re welcome. Tell you what I’m going to send off an announcement that everyone can go home and we’ll get right back on track tomorrow morning when I arrive properly” I say walking over to the microphone used to make announcements.

“Everyone this is Alisa speaking. You’re all free to leave early today. I’ll see you all tomorrow. An email will be sent to you all in the morning explaining changes and expectations. Thank you” I say before shutting off the microphone.

“Right I’m going home. See you tomorrow Alex” I say waiving him good bye as I leave my office.

Several people say goodbye and thank me for letting them leave early as I walk through the building.

I gather my bags and get another taxi back to my hotel.

I go straight to reception as I no longer have a key card for my room.

“Alisa?” Louis says in shock as I walk up to the desk.

“Oh I look different I know” I laugh.

“You look stunning” He smiles.

I ask for a new key card and talk about my day as I wait.

“I’ll call you after work tomorrow ok?” I say after Louis hands me the key card.

“Sure” Louis nods biting his lip as he looks me over once more.

When I arrive back in the penthouse everything feels so odd, I feel quite at home.

I change into one of my new outfits and post in front of the mirror snapping a picture which I then send to Gemma.

I feel different, I hope this difference makes me happier.

Harry’s poem.

One day,

That’s how long.

That’s how long you’ve being gone.

It feels like more,

And hurts more than before.

I miss you,

I know I’ve said that far too much.

But I can’t stress the truth.

Having you in my arms,

Oh that’d be the dream.

My heart it hurts,

Without you it’s ripping at the seam.


Authors note —- Thank you all so much for reading, lots of love. 

Ooh this updates longer and more regular! Knew I’d do it. Well just as I promised more frequent updates I have to mention that the next update wont be until Tuesday, maybe Monday (depends if I go to a family thing or not) because I’m at work. Updates will NEVER be on a Saturday or Sunday because I always work on weekends from now on with the odd extra shift like tomorrow. 

previous chapters  -  completed fic   - ask  - imagines  - wattpad 

personal tumblr leavedarling  - twitter @leavedarling  -  insta  molly180x

Talk to me on here or any of my social media. 

Thanks again, love Molly xxxx

Anonymous: Do you know when you plan on updating again? The story is fantastic so far and I can't wait to see what happens next! 😬

Thursday. Thank you so so much xx

Anonymous: Do you have Kik love?xx

Yeah it’s molly1806 xx

Anonymous: I just can't read her with Louis. It just feels completely wring.

I know and there won’t really be much more proper content with them. Like he’s going to be involved for a while longer but not like in this chapter. It’ll be worth it in the end I swear xxx

Always Alone - Chapter sixty three

Chapter sixty three


I called Louis a few hours ago explaining everything that had happened and apologised several times for not even attempting to contact him these past few days.

Of course Louis assured me that it didn’t matter, what I was going through was very personal and he didn’t expect anything from me.

He agreed to meet me at the airport.

I’m not sure how I feel about seeing him again, one thing I do know is when I think of seeing Harry my stomach tightens and flips as excitement and nerves shoot through my veins.

I don’t even think I can compare Louis and Harry because they both fill me with such different feeling and emotions. They’re two completely different people.

I am excited to be returning to New York, I’m going to take Gemma’s advice and become a whole new person. I just want to be happy and free.

The plane lands and suddenly the nerves take over, this is really happening. I’m really moving to New York, I’m really leaving Harry behind on the other side of the world.

Things would certainly be simpler if I could leave my feelings for Harry behind too.

I make my way through the airport and see Louis waiting at the gate, his hair looks rugged and messed up, his face unshaven and he’s wearing ripped black skinny jeans with a black t-shirt.

Before I even realise it I’m in his arms and all I can do is compare it to the embrace Harry and I shared earlier.

Louis doesn’t say anything he just hold me and rests his head on top of mine. His ands feel tight and secure. I feel safe.

Eventually he loosens his grip and tilts my face so I meet his glaze.

“Hey you” He says softly.

“Hey” I reply my voice shaking a little.

Louis brings his face closer to mine pressing his lips tenderly against my own.

The kiss is sweet and comforting soon I find myself kissing back building up the pressure and passion.

Louis pulls away chuckling slightly as he links his fingers with mine and leads me through the airport and gets us a taxi.

We arrive at Louis apartment building and he continues to link his hand with mine as we walk up the stairs and into his apartment.  

“I didn’t think you’d want to be alone tonight” Louis says as he closes the door behind us.

“Yeah I don’t” I mutter.

“We can go to the hotel if you’d feel more comfortable there?” He suggest as he takes my bag from my hand and sets it down beside me.

“No I’m fine here. More than fine” I smile lightly.

“If you’re staying here permanently shouldn’t you have packed more?” Louis says motioning towards the one tiny bag I brought with me.

“I have stuff back at the hotel, and I want to get all new stuff really. Start over” I shrug.

“Ah right, that’s a good idea I guess” Louis says scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

I make my way into Louis’ kitchen and pull and bottle of wine out of the fridge opening it and pouring two glasses.

“Fancy a drink?” I say holding a glass in Louis’ direction as I enter the living room.

“Sure” he hums taking the glass from my hand before pulling me closer with his other hand and pressing his lips to mine.


The glasses are now empty as is the entire bottle.

Louis’ hands run over my body as our kisses build up the passion and excitement within me.

I remove his t-shirt tossing it across the room as my hands roam is now exposed chest.

Soon enough items of clothing are strewn all over Louis apartment as we stumble onto the bed in a drunken naked embrace.

“Are you sure?” Louis slurs a little as he removes his lips from mine.

“Yeah” I pant pulling him closer to me.

I am sure, right now in this moment I want Louis.

I want him physically and I’m almost certain I want him emotionally too.

Sometimes these feeling come together, they do with Harry. Other times the come separately but that doesn’t mean I won’t come to want Louis emotionally.

Louis gives me a crooked smile before positioning himself correctly and pressing a comforting and gentle kiss to my lips.

That’s something I’ve always being aware of, the fact that Louis brings me comfort and safety which is something everyone needs to feel.

As my hands trail his back, most probably leaving marks, Louis thrusts in and out of me.

Everything blurs into a sweaty, sex scented mess. The sounds being moans, a selection of cure words and each other’s names.

As I fall over the edge it feels almost like an out of body experience, an incredible feeling.

Louis comes undone and traces kisses over my jaw and face before meeting my lips sweetly.

The room is now silent other than the occasional pant as we catch our breath.

As I lay here in Louis’ arms my thoughts don’t wander too far, I dream of the possibilities New York could bring and the potential future Louis and I could share.

Grace shows up in these thoughts too, I think of what I did to her, what Harry and I did and how she must feel of me.

Or felt I’m not sure if anything happens after death.

Sometimes I think afterlife, heaven and hell are just a way people cope. They don’t like to think that their loved ones have simply stopped existing.

I’m not sure what I think, I’d like to think if there is any form of after life that Grace is in a happy place.

Somewhere much kinder than this world.

Of course Harry crosses my mind for a moment and I remember his words “My hearts with someone else” well what if mine is too.

What if the world is just playing twisted games and everyone’s falling for people they can’t have.

“You asleep?” Louis whispers.

“No” I say turning around to face him.

“You don’t regret that do you?” He asks worriedly.

“No of course not” I say with a smile as I press a light brief kiss to his lips.

“You mean a lot to me Alisa, I just want you to know that” He says kissing my forehead before pulling my closer so I rest my head upon his chest.

I wish I knew what Louis meant to me, I wish I could tell him how I felt. But of course I can’t do that if even I do not know. I fall asleep to the soft sound of Louis’ heat beating and the movement as his chest rises and falls with every sleep-filled breath.

Harry’s poem.

You’ve moved away,

You’ve left my life.

But never my heart.

You’re in his arms,

By never out of my mind.

He sees you as his,

But always you’ll be mine.

I’m here alone with no one to hold,

So I hold the thoughts and the love of you.

Then I don’t feel so alone.


Authors note —- Thank you all for reading , tonnes of love to you all. 

Sorry update is soooo late and that its quite short too! From now on updates are much more frequent because I have roughly 4/5 free days a week for the next few months. I’m going away at the end of August but I’m going to try and scheduled and update to fit in for that week too. 

Updates will be longer too, this one is only short because I found it worked best to cut it off at this point. 

previous chapters   -  completed fic   - imagines  - ask   - wattpad 

persoal tumblr leavedarling  twitter @leavedarling  insta - molly180x 

Thank you all so so much , love Molly xxx

Updates almost finished. Will upload tonight or tomorrow morning! 😘 after this they’ll be much more frequent 😘😘