Announcement / ramble

Okay so I’m going on holiday first thing Monday morning. I’m going to Greece and I’m super excited about that! I had planned to get one or maybe even two chapters up before then.
But I went and got my exam results today and well I didn’t do that great. I feel disappointed and quite annoyed at myself. I sort of feel like I don’t know what I want to do with my life anymore. Like I’m stuck in a rut.
I think what I need is a break and a chance to relax properly. So I won’t be updating until I return. I’ll probably not post until the Wednesday or Thursday so the 28th or 29th.
I hope that after that I’ll have a clearer head and be more motivated to write.
I hope everyone understands and that you aren’t too mad haha.

While I’m away I will answer questions, I will also use twitter and Instagram a bit so give me a follow.
Twitter leavedarling
Insta molly180x
Lots of love and appreciation to every single one of you. Xxxxx

Always Alone - Chapter Sixty eight

Chapter sixty eight

(AN – PLEASE LIKE AND REBLOG)

“Here’s the new contracts you need to sign off Alisa” Alex says walking into my office holding a rather large stack of paper.

“Oh great, thank you Alex” I smile before diverting my eyes back to the computer screen.

“If it isn’t too much trouble I need them signed and on my desk for tomorrow morning” Alex adds.

“Yeah that’s fine” I nod as I open another long winded email from some random employee at the Manchester office.

“How long will you be here until tonight?” Alex asks.

“Umm what time is it now?” I question, when I’m at work I kind of lose all knowledge of time.

“Five thirty” Alex says after checking his watch.

“Any minute now then, I’m heading to the gym” I say closing the email. I’ll reply tomorrow.

“Oh what gym do you go to?” He asks sitting on the edge of my desk.

“24 fitness”

“Really? Me too. Hey do you want to go together tonight? My gym bags in the car” Alex suggests.

“Umm I don’t know. Are you sure?” I ask.

“Yeah of course” Alex nods.

“Fine, I’m ready to leave now. Are you?” I sigh in agreement.

“Give me two minutes” He smiles happily before hopping off my desk and heading into his own office.

I put away the few pieces of paper etc. that have being left on my desk before grabbing the contracts Alex had given me and putting them into my handbag.

I grab my woollen coat and put it on, the cold seems to be picking up very quickly at the moment, its clear Christmas is just around the corner.

I don’t have any plans for Christmas, I can’t imagine spending it with my family considering they aren’t even speaking to me right now.

To think not that long ago I was imaging Harry and I spending Christmas together, we’d cuddle up my the fire and share a bottle of wine. We’d spend Christmas morning in bed opening the gifts we’d given each other followed by some steamy Christmas sex. We’d cook dinner together, possible burn it but enjoy ourselves all the same. Maybe we’d visit Anne, Alan, Gemma, Niall, Isabelle and Max on the evening and spend time together a big family.

I wanted to be a true part of their family.

“I’m ready now” Alex announces sticking his head around the door frame.

“Let’s go then” I smile brushing all thoughts of Christmas time and Harry out of my mind.

Alex drives us to the gym and we then go separate ways to get changed.

I put on a pair of shorts, sports bra and a vest top. I pull my hair off my face with a thin elastic headband and apply a bit more deodorant. I then put on my trainers and shove all my stuff into my locker.  

Well everything except the contracts, I’ll read them when I run.

I make my way into the gym and immediately seem Alex lifting some weights, I must admit in the vest and shorts he looks rather hot.

The small amount sweat glistening on his muscular and defined body. Basically he’s got the typically attractive figure, you’d be mad not like what you see.

I give him a small wave before making my way over to the treadmill and resting the contracts on the monitor. I begin running at a rather slow pace which I continually increase. The speed builds up and I continue to read, turning page after page.

The contracts about providing new writers with more media coverage, more publicity and more recognition. Which is something I view as very important how is anyone ever going to become successful if they aren’t given the recognition and attention they deserve.

Writing is a career that needs public attention, it relies on people being interested, in word of mouth and nowadays social media can be the key.

As a company we’re launching a blog site which posts snippets of books before they are released, it also allows each author to post once about themselves and their views of the book. Finally someone from our company posts something about each book to give the company’s opinion on it.

An hour and a half later I’m exhausted from the constant running and have finished the contracts.

“You ready to go?” Alex asks his breath seeming a little short.

“Yeah, I finished reading the contracts, I’ve got a pen in my locker so I’ll sign them and give them back to you now if you’d like?” I reply.

“Yeah sure” He nods before we make our way back to the changing rooms.

I hand Alex the signed contracts and say goodbye.

I decide to walk home, I fancy the fresh air.

Did I just say home? Is this my home?

I’m not even sure I have a home anymore.

When I arrive back at the hotel I shower before sitting down in my office space infornt of the computer.

I open a blank document and begin typing.

When I started reading these poems I felt something I’ve never felt when reading literature before. I felt like I really was part of it, like I felt the things the author felt. I was moved and engrossed, from the first page I was fully invested.

I feel this is the kind of book you can never tire of reading, every time you re-read a particular poem it has a new meaning, you see something in it you never had before. You feel differently and you feel incredible.

It’s the kind of book that it doesn’t matter if you read it a page at a time or read the entire thing in one sitting, that’s what I did.

One thing I’m certain of is that if this book had being written about me I’d be the happiest girl alive. To have someone feel such strong, real, overwhelming things for me would be a dream.

Of course this kind of love and need for someone isn’t the healthiest but that’s love for you. It isn’t healthy. There’s not safe amount, not limitations.

I’m sure the girl who truly ‘fucked’ him up feels awful, swimming in regret and wishing she could fall back into his arms.

Life is complicated, messy and tough as hell.

But one thing Mr Styles made crystal clear was his love.

If only we could all be as sure as him.

Everything I’ve written is not even a small fraction of what I want to tell Harry.

I want to talk to him and in what I’d like to describe as a moment of weakness I text him once again.

I’m sorry for how the call ended the other night. Things aren’t easy for either of us right now.

I need time, I know that’s all I ever seem to say. I’d love to be with you, but that’s just not the right step for me right now.  Maybe you can call me again sometime or even text back. Just so we can chat. X

Harry’s poem.

I beg and I beg,

But you never come.

You never tell me you love me.

I love you,

I’m like a record stuck on repeat.

Come back to me.

Come back to me.

Please, please, please.

(M.M)

 Athors note —- thanks for reading, lots of love

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love molly xxx

Anonymous: I find it hard to keep interest in this story. It's like you rarely update and nothing is really happening. I know you have a life outside of this and I think that's great but that's just how I feel. I mean you no offense. Have a great day!

That’s fine. Y’know what I kind of agree. I wish I could update every single day. Then the story would seem like it was developing at a better pace. But right now everything in my life is so full on and busy.
Xx

Anonymous: Update?😁x

Tomorrow afternoon (99.9% likely) xxx

Anonymous: Updating?

I’ve got the chapter like half written. Should be up Monday around 3 o’clock as I’m at work tomorrow. Xxx

Anonymous: Next update?

Today hopefully x

Anonymous: Do you have a master list for the chapters for your fanfics? I would love to start from the beginning!

Yeah I do. Either at the bottom of each chapter there’s links to them. Or on my blog itself on the side bar thing x

Anonymous: No why are they together... I mean she should be with harry

It’ll make sense later x

Anonymous: How many chapters for the whole story?

Somewhere between 90-100 x

Anonymous: Will they talk often?

Could say that x

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