Chapter forty three
(AN – PLEASE LIKE AND REBLOG)
It’s being two days since Grace and I view the apartments. Two days since I watched my sister cry. Two days since I realised how weak their relationship had being all along. Two days since I’d comforted and supported Grace for probably the last time in my life.
Grace has being a little distant these past two days from both Harry and myself. I thinks it’s because it’s all seeming so real now, her and Harry are really over.
She can finally move on from the tragic loss of her son, she can finally grieve for Caleb.
Harry can too, I’m sure he’s keeping it all held up too.
Harry and I have never really spoken about Caleb, well we have occasionally but it’s typically more of a passing comment, never a full in depth discussion. Perhaps knowing how Harry feels will help me balance it all out, help me understand why he’s the person he is now, why him and Grace couldn’t have worked out.
Although it may seem like an excuse to stop myself from feeling guilty I firmly believe if Harry and I hadn’t have fallen in love, if we hadn’t being drawn to one another, Grace and Harry would have still split up.
From what Grace said it seems it was a long time coming, ever since Caleb’s death there was only limited time left for the two of them, only so long they could keep pretending, keep grasping onto the pieces of one another that helped them cope.
It seems they may have ended much sooner if Grace had never gotten pregnant in the first place, it seems they were merely together because they were going to have a child.
That’s something I despise, parents sticking together for the sake of a child. Children see so much more than people realise, they see when their parents aren’t happy together.
They hear the fights, see the broken emotions, the tired eyes, the lack of spark and love within them.
Being together merely for your child is sickening, it’s pointless. All it does is hurt everyone.
No good can come from a forced relationship, forced fake feelings, pretending to be happy, pretending to be the perfect family. When really it’s all lies that are driving you insane.
Relationships like that end messily, people cheat and don’t even feel the slightest pang of guilt, divorces are difficult on the parents and the child.
Surely it’s better to just be part of one another lives, spend time with the child but live separately, begin new relationships. The child will know no different and be ok with having parents who live apart. Of course they’ll find out eventually that our society deems it normal to have married parents but a little explaining of what happiness and love are and how they are more important than anything else or anyone else’s opinions and the child will understand, they’ll be ok with it.
That’s something I’ve always promised myself, I’d never stick with someone for the sake of a child. Not that I ever intend on having children, but y’know accidents happen.
My long and slightly tiresome train of thoughts are interrupted by my office phone ringing.
“Miss Pearson, there’s a delivery here for you” My secretary says politely.
“Ok, please bring it in. Oh and Amelia I’ve already told you, please don’t call me by my last name” I remind her in a friendly manner.
I hate my last name being used, it’s not me.
I’m not a Pearson, I just got brought up in their household.
I don’t know who I am, I don’t know if I ever will.
Moments later Amelia, my secretary, enters the office carrying a rather large bouquet of flowers.
There’s white roses mixed in with a few pale pink ones.
“Oh these are lovely! Who sent them?” I ask a wide grin spreading across my face.
“I’m not sure there’s a card though Miss…” Amelia trails off not sure exactly how to address me.
“You can just call me Alisa you know” I laugh lightly reaching to take the card from the bouquet.
‘Meet me at that Italian restaurant we went to before.
I’ve reserved a table for five thirty, I’m sure dad will let you leave a little earlier.
I miss you so much already that just goes to show how pathetically in love with you I am.
Is it a little cliché that I sent you flowers?
I’d rather we refer to it as disgustingly cute.
Anyways I’m rambling and haven’t got much room left on this tiny little card, look how small I’ve made my writing!
I love you with the entirety of my heart, Harry xx’
My smile grows and grows with every line I read, Harry really can be insanely ‘disgustingly cute’ sometimes. I like that quality about him though.
“Anyone special?” Amelia asks motioning towards the flowers.
“Oh just someone I’ve recently started seeing, we aren’t serious as of yet” I lie casually, it’s something I’ve gotten extremely good at, lying. That’s what the majority of my day is now, lie after lie.
I’m glad it will be over soon.
“Well he must like you a lot if he’s sending you such beautiful flowers” Amelia grins.
“Yeah I guess he must” I laugh leaning back in my chair a little.
“There’s some beautiful vases in the corridor along to Mr Styles’ office, I could pop down and ask him if we could borrow one?” Amelia suggests still holding the flowers in her hand.
“Oh yes please, what time is it?” I ask.
“Four thirty” Amelia smiles after quickly checking her watch.
“If you don’t mind waiting a second I can give you a note to pass along to Mr Styles” I say hopefully.
“Of course Ma’am” She nods waiting patiently while I grab a post-it-note and scribble down a quick message.
Sorry for asking you in the form of a rushed note rather than in person, but would it be ok if I leave work a little early today, around 5 ish? I’ve got an appointment I’d completely forgotten about. Everything you’d asked me to do today is pretty much finished anyways and can be finished for five. Sorry again for having to ask, Alisa.’
Putting my pen back down on the desk I hand the note over to Amelia offering her polite and friendly smile.
I have about half an hour before I’d have to leave, that is if Alan lets me, so I better get these last few emails finished.
I respond to the few replies I’ve gotten before beginning to type up the email I need to send to the PR companies in America that we are hoping to team up with at the New York offices.
There’s a small knock at the door “Come in” I say loudly before Amelia opens the door carrying the flowers now presented in a lovely glass vase which she sets on the corner of my desk.
“Mr Styles said your request is fine, you may leave whenever you need to. He hopes you have a nice rest of the day and he’ll see you tomorrow Morning as the two of you have a private meeting” Amelia informs me before walking over to the door flashing me a brief smile before closing the door and heading back to her own desk.
Once I’ve finished the email I log off my computer and stand up from my desk.
Grabbing my hand bag I tug my longline cream blazer back on, which really looks more like a coat.
I head out of the office, stopping briefly at Amelia’s desk.
“I’m heading out now, any calls can either have messages taken or just ask them to call back tomorrow. If it’s not too much trouble could you check the water for the flowers tomorrow morning when you arrive?” I ask with a smile.
“Of course Ma’am, have a lovely evening” She smiles before answering a phone call.
I wave her off before continuing down to corridor.
Instead of getting straight into the lift I walk to the bathrooms.
Looking in the mirror I fix my hair which is curled and pulled into a loose, low pony tail with a few stray pieces framing my face. I then pull out my makeup bag and apply a little concealer where needed and re-apply my nude lipstick.
I spritz a little of my perfume, Daisy by Marc Jacobs, before leaving the bathroom and making my way back to the lift.
Once I’m out of the building I begin walking though the busy city streets, weaving between the groups of people hoping I’m actually heading in the right direction. I’ve only being to this restaurant once before and that was with Harry, he was leading the way.
When I’m around Harry I get so easily distracted by him, it’s like everything around us becomes a blur, it’s so hard to focus when all you can hear is his voice, all you can see is his piercingly perfect eyes, all you can feel is the light touch on your back or his fingers locked with yours.
After about twenty minutes of walking I recognise the street, the street in which the restaurant is located. I cross over to the other side of the street remembering exactly where it is now.
I open the restaurant door and immediately a waitress greets me.
“Good afternoon Miss, table for one?” She asks with a wide smile.
Personally I don’t think I could ever dine alone, it’d be too lonely, too quite.
“No umm, I think my boyfriend made a reservation. It’s probably under Styles?” I say in a tone that sounds like a question. God I hate how awkward I am around strangers.
The waitress checks the book before looking back up at me with a friendly smile.
“Yes, he’s already here. Right this way” She says stepping out to guide me towards the table.
Harry comes into view and his eyes instantly lock with mine giving me a small crooked smile, this causes my stomach to flip, I love the effect he has upon me.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes to take your drink orders” The waitress says as she pulls out my seat for me.
“Thank you” I say before turning my attention to Harry once she’s walked away.
“Well isn’t this a lovely surprise” I grin at him allowing him to take my hand in his resting them on top of the table.
“I wanted to treat you, I thought it would be nice to have an official date seeing as after tonight we can be an official couple” Harry smiles rubbing his thumb over my hand.
“We’re telling Grace tonight?” I say in a surprised tone.
“Yeah, she’s booked a meeting with Melisa tomorrow so we kind of have to” He laughs lightly.
“Oh right” I nod taking a deep breath, I’m not sure I’m ready for this.
“It’ll be fine darling, I’ve already told my dad” Harry says.
“What?” I gasp.
“Yeah umm I knew you’d have to ask to leave and thought it might seem a little coincidental so I just told him, he’d have found out soon enough anyways. I asked him not to tell mum, I figure we’ll do that ourselves. He was happy thought, shocked of course, but happy that we’re happy. He said he’d noticed the distance between Grace and I for quite some time” Harry explained.
“Oh ok, well that’s good I suppose” I say with a weak smile.
“Have you two decided what you’d like to drink yet?” The waitress smiles having re-appeared at our table.
“I’ll have a rose wine please” I smile politely.
“I’ll have whatever beer you recommend” Harry shrugs with a soft smile.
“Ok, any ideas what you’d like as your starter?” She asks taking note of our drink order.
“Erm I’d like the bread platter please” I mumble having just scanned the menu.
“Actually is there a bigger version of that, one to share?” Harry chips in.
“Yes would the two of you like that?” The waitress nods.
“Yes please, that would be perfect” Harry smiles before turning his attention back to me as the waitress walks away.
Harry and I discuss a few light topics such as work and I thank him for the extremely beautiful flowers he’d sent me before the waitress returns with our drinks.
“The starter should be ready in five minutes or so” She grins setting our glasses in front of the appropriate person before heading off to another table.
“Mind if I ask you something?” I question before taking a small sip of the wine, thankfully it doesn’t taste of vinegar like some cheaper wines do.
“Sure go ahead” Harry shrugs.
“It’s about Caleb” I inform him in case he wants to change his mind.
“Umm ok, go on” Harry says motioning with his hand before sipping a little of his beer.
“Well when I was looking at apartments with Grace she was talking about how she thinks that the reason you guys spilt, how since you lost him you just grew further and further apart” I explain.
“Yeah that’s right I suppose, it was kind of inevitable we’d split regardless of meeting other people. Regardless of me falling desperately in love with you” Harry says giving me a small smirk as his sentence ends.
“Yeah I figured, so like wasn’t he the whole reason you guys go together? Grace kind of made it seem that way, like you were casual until she fell pregnant?” I ask sipping my wine yet again.
“Yeah, I’ve mentioned before how our relationship was based upon attraction, the only emotional attachments we really formed were our love for out yet to be born child and then our grief and sadness following his death” Harry explained his voice cracking a little at the mentions of Caleb.
“Have you grieved though? Because it seems to me like Grace hasn’t” I press.
“I think so, I mean the death of your child is something you can never fully recover from, it’s a horrible experience and I can’t ever forget it, not that I’d want to either. I think Grace has to some extent, perhaps she’s not as far along as I am and she’s more of an emotional person than I am anyways. She’s better than she had being, just after we lost him she was in such a dark place, I think the news of you coming home is what pulled her back, what made her stronger. She loves you a lot more than she’d care to admit” Harry says smiling weakly before sipping his beer indicating his sentence is over.
“That’s exactly why I’m so scared to lose her” I sigh putting my head into my hands.
“I think it’s all going to go better than you imagine, you are probably thinking of the worst possible outcome, and in reality it will be much easier” Harry says giving my hand a slightly tighter squeeze.
“One sharing bread platter” The waitress announces setting the platter on to our table, the platter is covered in different types of bread, oils, spreads, dips and olives.
“Thank you” Harry and I say almost simultaneously.
“Let’s just relax, enjoy and have a lovely evening together. No more deep shit. Just us” Harry suggests before picking up a piece of bread.
“Couldn’t agree more” I grin copying his actions and getting some bread myself.
“You sure you’re ok?” Harry laughs as I wobble on my heels a little making my way to the car.
“I’m fine, just a little bit of liquid courage for what we’re about to do” I laugh referring to the fact we’re about to tell Grace about Harry and I.
“Right ok then” Harry says laughing a little as he shakes his head.
“In you get m’lady” He smirks holding the car door open for me.
“Why thank you kind Sir” I grin back reaching to take his face him my hands.
Harry’s lips press delicately to mine instantly igniting the fire I constantly feel when we’re connected.
After a few moments Harry pulls back causing me to pout childishly.
Harry laughs at my expression before shutting the car door and jogging round to his own side and climbing in.
“Stop pouting” He laughs starting the engine.
“I need kisses” I wine desperately.
Harry rolls his eyes before reaching over to bring my lips closer to his, agonisingly slowly he closed the gap further and further until his soft but slightly rough lips press to mine kissing me gently and deeply.
After a minute or so Harry pulls apart once again.
“I could keep doing that for all of eternity believe me, but really should get going” Harry grins kissing my cheek before pulling out of the car park.
“Fine” I huff folding my arms childishly before bursting into fit of laughter when I catch Harry smirking at me.
“I love you” He murmurs lightly as he shakes his head at my behaviour.
“I love you too” I grin as my laugher comes to a stop.
The remainder of the drive home is peaceful and calming, the calm before the storm I suppose.
Harry’s hand rests on my thigh most of the time, it’s like a nice and comforting reminder that he’s here, that he’s mine, that we’ll be ok.
When we pull into the drive way and Harry stops the car engine I can’t help but feel sick.
I’m incredibly nervous, I’m about to ruin my sisters life, I’m about to lose all my family.
In a matter of minutes life as I know it will be over.
I’m scared beyond words.
“Everything’s going to be fine” Harry say’s holding the car door open for me, I hadn’t even noticed him get out.
“I’m not so sure” I murmur stepping out to stand beside him.
“I love you, don’t forget that, we’ll be fine. We’ll be perfect” Harry says kissing my forehead lightly before leading me to the front door.
“I love you” I mutter before opening the door and entering the house.
Pulling off my heels I follow Harry into the living room where Grace is seated.
“Gracie, can we talk?” I say sitting on the sofa across from her.
“Sure want to go upstairs?” She asks sitting forward a little.
“No, Harry wants to talk too” I say motioning to Harry who’s just sat down on the same sofa as me leaving quite a large gap between us.
“Ok” She says raising her eyebrows a little.
Kisses, only your kisses.
I crave them,
I need them,
I love them,
I never tire of them.
Only your kisses.
Authors note —— thank you all so much for reading, I love you millions.
what’d you think? opinions and predictions:)
This chapters longer too yay!!
You probably hate me for the cliffhanger;) but trust me its worth it.
recommend me some fics?
please like and reblog.
Thanks again, love Molly xxx